The Snoodler vs. Breesus Christ Superstars
Well last week, I figured Bryan had my number, but I was wrong. This week I figure again Bryan will have my number and I don't think I'll be wrong a second time. Unlike last week, Bryan's players get a smorgasbord of Oakland, Jacksonville, Detroit and the Giants. With opposition like that Bryan's should have a pretty strong showing. I get some crummy teams too - but just not as many of them - and with Gronk out, Brady's numbers will probably return back to earth. Bryan moves on.
The Lonesome Kicker vs. The North
If this was poker, I'd say Thursday night already tipped this hand. Considering Peyton had a good, but not great showing, I'd say Larry already has an uphill climb this weekend. Though Ian also sports some under-performing Denver players, I think both Foles and Luck are likely to garner a solid chunk of points. I'm no fan of Mendenhall, but he's no worse than an injured and inconsistent Tate. I like Wilson, but suspect the Seahawks will run a lot which really will only benefit Ian's defense. In the end, it will be close because neither team's going to put up it's normal production, but Peyton's only average performance will let Ian slip into the playoffs.
Ngata Chance vs. Gone in 30 Minutes
It took a while, but Linsday's team finally came around this year - unfortunately it's a couple weeks too late - and means he's competing in the wrong bracket. Ryan remained on the fringes, but just couldn't close the deal, so now he's get a shot at the number one pick too. But hey no regerts right? Two decent teams with some good matchups - Lacy should shoulder charge his way through a weak Dallas and Lynch will feast on the Giants. The receivers are about equal too - with maybe the exception that Cameron will likely roll with more points than Fleener. I'll give Romo the benefit of the doubt against a shaky Green Bay and say Ryan squeezes out a win.
The Downs Burns vs. Dirty D
In what could only be described as a spectacular meltdown, Wayne's team went from constant competitor to starving orphan sadly eying the wares from outside the candy store's windowpane. Well, can we expect the same result this week? I suspect the answer is yes since Dennis' team has been on a tear through these last few weeks. Plus, there's nothing to suggest (McCoy being the exception) that Wayne's painful-to-watch nose dive won't continue. Campbell is average at best and Nicks won't even see the ball against the Seahawks. Besides, Jeffrey and Gordon are just as likely to put up another 150 points this week. Toss in a suddenly hot Dalton and Tannehill and we've got a case of two teams in motion, both up and down, remaining in motion. Dennis takes it.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Fanciful Fantasy Fun Fortunes Week Thirteen
Chewbacca DST vs. Lonesome Kicker
Picture that you're in a physics class, and your young and charismatic teacher is speaking about how things in motion tend to stay in motion. A naive student puts up a tentative hand and asks how that could be. Ah, he says, strolling over to his blackboard. Let me know you, he says. He thing swivels the blackboard vertically, revealing his example. Why it's Ian and Paul's teams - two groups that prove once you move in a direction, you stay moving in it. Man, that was a really lame and extended metaphor for saying that Ian's likely to win, no matter what favourable matchups Paul carries into the weekend.
Ngata Chance vs. The Chefs
The fantasy siren is a cruel mistress - sometimes she rewards you with many winning years, the respect of your peers, and better yet, their hard-earned money. Sometimes she beckons you to shore only to dash your fantasy group on the rocks. In tenth place, Derek has essentially nothing to play for - but that won't stop him from being an easy out. The mighty Flynn gets a pretty lousy Atlanta team, and while Philadelphia can score - they also can be scored against. That said, Lindsay already got more production out of Jones-Drew than can normally be expected and Rivers should have a field day with the Giants. It'll be the small things the Ravens getting Minny that make the difference here - Lindsay eats Derek's lunch on a close one.
The Snoodler vs. Breesus Christ Superstars
Look Ray Rice, we haven't exactly had the best relationship this year. It started with you spurning me with lackadaisical play - and I responded, unfairly or not, by letting you ride the pine in favor of younger, potentially more talented running backs. But, that's water under the bridge now. I need your help this week to (improbably) have a shot at the playoffs. Look, you are playing Minnesota - they are terrible against the run. Your team desperately needs your talent to win the game. I promise to stop cursing you, your family, your height, all of the things you ever loved - if, in return, you can maybe not completely suck this week. If Ray listens, I win. More likely though , Bryan wins.
The North vs. Dirty D
Despite being out of it, Dennis' team is putting together a tidy little streak to close out the year. The question is, will he continue streaking and play spoiler to Larry's fading fantasy chances? Well, it helps that Ben Tate was ineffective on Thursday and that Wilson will face an angry 49ers at home this weekend. Add in the fact that Dalton plays a struggling Colts and Tannehill finally remembered not to suck as of the last couple weeks. Actually, a lot of Dennis' players are running red hot, including both Jeffery and Gordon, who basically beat Wayne last week by themselves. Peyton always makes for a dangerous play, but against the Titans, it's likely they get an early lead and run the ball. It makes for good football sense, but not so much for fantasy fortunes - in this case, Larry's treasure comes up empty. Dennis spoils.
The Downs Burns vs. Gone in 30 Minutes
I haven't done the calculations, but I'm relatively certain that this game is a make or break for either Ryan or Wayne's team. Despite stumbling in these last weeks, I'm pretty sure a win secures Wayne a spot at the playoff table. However, a loss could put him on par with Ryan and Larry and me - and I'm not positive what the win-loss scenario looks like in that picture - but there's a chance Wayne could be looking from the outside. Obviously, Ryan needs this game and some significant help. But who actually takes it? Well Andre Johnson was good for Ryan, while the Texans defense (against Jacksonville no less) was not. If I see a chink in the armor, it's RG3 playing Kansas City. If he gets the KC of the first part of the season, then it's trouble - if he gets the KC of the last couple weeks, than he's got a strong chance. I'm guessing Andy Reid will deliver the former this weekend to ensure the team makes the playoffs, which effectively spells doom for Ryan's fantasy chances.
Picture that you're in a physics class, and your young and charismatic teacher is speaking about how things in motion tend to stay in motion. A naive student puts up a tentative hand and asks how that could be. Ah, he says, strolling over to his blackboard. Let me know you, he says. He thing swivels the blackboard vertically, revealing his example. Why it's Ian and Paul's teams - two groups that prove once you move in a direction, you stay moving in it. Man, that was a really lame and extended metaphor for saying that Ian's likely to win, no matter what favourable matchups Paul carries into the weekend.
Ngata Chance vs. The Chefs
The fantasy siren is a cruel mistress - sometimes she rewards you with many winning years, the respect of your peers, and better yet, their hard-earned money. Sometimes she beckons you to shore only to dash your fantasy group on the rocks. In tenth place, Derek has essentially nothing to play for - but that won't stop him from being an easy out. The mighty Flynn gets a pretty lousy Atlanta team, and while Philadelphia can score - they also can be scored against. That said, Lindsay already got more production out of Jones-Drew than can normally be expected and Rivers should have a field day with the Giants. It'll be the small things the Ravens getting Minny that make the difference here - Lindsay eats Derek's lunch on a close one.
The Snoodler vs. Breesus Christ Superstars
Look Ray Rice, we haven't exactly had the best relationship this year. It started with you spurning me with lackadaisical play - and I responded, unfairly or not, by letting you ride the pine in favor of younger, potentially more talented running backs. But, that's water under the bridge now. I need your help this week to (improbably) have a shot at the playoffs. Look, you are playing Minnesota - they are terrible against the run. Your team desperately needs your talent to win the game. I promise to stop cursing you, your family, your height, all of the things you ever loved - if, in return, you can maybe not completely suck this week. If Ray listens, I win. More likely though , Bryan wins.
The North vs. Dirty D
Despite being out of it, Dennis' team is putting together a tidy little streak to close out the year. The question is, will he continue streaking and play spoiler to Larry's fading fantasy chances? Well, it helps that Ben Tate was ineffective on Thursday and that Wilson will face an angry 49ers at home this weekend. Add in the fact that Dalton plays a struggling Colts and Tannehill finally remembered not to suck as of the last couple weeks. Actually, a lot of Dennis' players are running red hot, including both Jeffery and Gordon, who basically beat Wayne last week by themselves. Peyton always makes for a dangerous play, but against the Titans, it's likely they get an early lead and run the ball. It makes for good football sense, but not so much for fantasy fortunes - in this case, Larry's treasure comes up empty. Dennis spoils.
The Downs Burns vs. Gone in 30 Minutes
I haven't done the calculations, but I'm relatively certain that this game is a make or break for either Ryan or Wayne's team. Despite stumbling in these last weeks, I'm pretty sure a win secures Wayne a spot at the playoff table. However, a loss could put him on par with Ryan and Larry and me - and I'm not positive what the win-loss scenario looks like in that picture - but there's a chance Wayne could be looking from the outside. Obviously, Ryan needs this game and some significant help. But who actually takes it? Well Andre Johnson was good for Ryan, while the Texans defense (against Jacksonville no less) was not. If I see a chink in the armor, it's RG3 playing Kansas City. If he gets the KC of the first part of the season, then it's trouble - if he gets the KC of the last couple weeks, than he's got a strong chance. I'm guessing Andy Reid will deliver the former this weekend to ensure the team makes the playoffs, which effectively spells doom for Ryan's fantasy chances.
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