Reckoner vs Urban Achiever
Paul wanted Mallrats Kevin Smith, but instead he got Cop Out as the Lions were too busy tripping over their own feet to produce any meaningful fantasy points. Actually more troubling is that David Akers was one chip shot away from being Paul’s current fantasy leader for this week. I’m not saying I’m some kind of Nostradamus with three games in the bag, but I like Lindsay’s chances seeing how the Ravens gave Alex Smith a rocket ship ride back to reality. The rest of Reckoner’s opponents are weaker than a cancer kid's handshake, so I’ll say he hands Paul a second, alarming loss.
PDC vs. The Lonesome Kicker
Despite Ian jumping out of the gate this week, I’m positive this game will be close by Sunday’s end. Maybe not 199-199 tie close, but enough to produce a bit of perspiration on Mr. Miller’s brow – after all, games actually matter for him. Not so for Ryan who can just sit back and play spoiler while tasting the bitter tears of another ruined year. Speaking of bitter, ruined things – we now welcome Matt Leinart to our 2011 fantasy football league. Fortunately he’s playing the Jacksonville Jones Drews this week. Stack him up with the oddly serviceable Andy Dalton and there’s faint hope there – but by faint, I mean like an elevator fart after stopping three floors – in other words, when Ian gets on, he’ll know something’s wrong, but won’t know where the source of the dark magic began. Even though his senses will be mildly assaulted, Ian will just do that shirt thing and move on.
Banana Grabbers vs Downs Burns
Another close one, but looking into my magic eight ball, the answer I get is “check back later.” Wait, WTF magic eight ball? I want an answer. Let’s try again...”concentrate and ask again.” I can’t believe I paid a whole seven dollars for you at Tropicana...I could’ve gotten three witty beer t-shirts or a Bob Marley wig for that money. Okay, maybe I’ll tell it about who’s playing. Cam Newton against lacklustre Indy...Michael Bush against Chicago...alright...”cannot predict now.” Okay, how about a now alive Antonio Gates against Ponder playing Atlanta...? “Reply hazy, try again later.” Okay, so it’s going to be a slugfest and too close to rely on technology to decide. I’ve got to pick somebody – so, I’ll take Wayne for momentum’s sake and making the playoffs for the perfect mind fuck.
Dirty D vs. The Chefs
A couple more players for each team and I could’ve saved myself the trouble this week. Admittedly, I make fun of Dennis a lot (it’s all in jest I promise), but his team scores a lot of points. With Foster in his pocket, there’s a ton of potential for a ridiculous stat line come Sunday. And while I like Derek’s team, nobody there is screaming to go off. All things being equal, both Dennis and Derek had big ticket players disappoint this week – but it hurts The Chefs a lot more to come up lame with Ray Rice than it does for Dennis to get a quiet Nelson or a usually crummy Crabtree. So what happens? Well, it’s a slim lead right now and it’ll probably stay that way to the end, but I’ll say that Dennis finds a way to win this week.
Bare Cupboards vs. The North
C’mon Tom Brady! You could’ve walked three steps and saved me the agony of tie. Ties are worse than wins or losses – it’s the fantasy equivalent of purgatory – at least when you’re in Heaven or Hell, you know where you stand. Also, thank you Nate Burleson for being crappy this week – I totally forgot about the super early Thanksgiving start times, but hey, you saved me from starting you. Finally a game Larry and I have a chance of winning – and like pretty much every other matchup this week – this one will probably come down to the wire. While I have the second best Julio around, Larry has the second best Fitzgerald. If I was to give someone an edge, I’d say me only because I’d take Brady over Grossman. So, lets’ break it down: I’ll take the edge in quarterbacks, perhaps Larry in running backs and wide receivers are kind of a wasteland – but mine are minutely less noxious because of Jimmy Graham, so we’ll say that I fail upwards this week
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