My BDTF! Week Six!

Bare Cupboards vs. Reckoner

Not only has the injury bug bitten my team, but my group of losers also contracted shitty fantasy team VD by plowing the painted whore that is free agency. My receivers and running backs are about as desirable as the first poop after a night of Indian food. There's no point in explaining it any further - Lindsay knocks me out this week because his mama said to knock me out.

Urban Achiever vs. The Chefs

Like me, Paul is sliding like he's spending the day at the West Edmonton Wave Pool. It's kind of weird because there's talent there - Manning, A.J Green and Turner are all having decent years. I'll scratch this one up to tough luck so far. On the other side of the coin, Derek's team is more patchwork than gradma's family history quilt that nobody uses or acknowledges. I think this is the week Paul's luck kicks in and Derek's temporarily runs out - unless my mind is playing tricks on me.

Banana Grabbers vs. Dirty D

Well at least I can't be completely wrong this week - one of the two teams I keep picking to win will actually win this week. Out of these two under-performers I'm guessing it's Dennis because I always guess it's Dennis so let's at least be consistent. While I appreciate Ponder's happy story like I appreciate the eight endings of the Lord of the Rings (I don't really appreciate them - here's a secret about me - I kind of hate the lord of the rings movies - they are terrible and you should feel bad for liking them), he's eventually going to stumble and this game against the Redskins has that vibe. Another close one, but the win passes Brian by and falls into Dennis' lap.

The North vs Gone in 30 Minutes

Peyton Manning's wobbly passes vs. RGB's wobbly brain? Phillip Rivers not throwing picks vs. Alex Smith just plain not sucking? What's the twist here M. Night Shyamalan? If Ryan has an advantage it's that he's not reliant on starting Shonn Greene who has to exert all his strength to simply run forwards and not backyards - yes, it's a terrible affliction and it seems to be spreading on the Jets. So, with that said, I choose Ryan as the victor.

The Downs Burns vs. The Lonesome Kicker

Yikes, starting Ryan Fitzpatrick and Sam Bradford. Probably time to ring the crappy alarm. Double yikes scoob, Ian's starting Joss Wheedon and Andrew used-all-his-Luck last week. By sheer quarterback atrocity alone, we're headed towards a fantasy singularity. I reminisce over a time when winning fantasy involved using good players - but those days are passed - and one of these fantasy merlins is going to conjure a win while the other's week blows up in his face. Picking who is harder than you think...I'll say Ian keeps the momentum up.