My BDTF Week Five!

Bare Cupboards vs. The Chefs

Looking at them now, my wide receivers are the Calgary Flames of fantasy football - not bad enough to jettison into the void, but really not good enough to be competitive. If there's one saving grace to my team right now, it's that this is a quarterbacks league and mine haven't been awful yet. Keep in mind however, Derek has an entire team and not just two players he can rely on, and many of them play some pretty awful teams this weekend - KC, Indy, Miami - a veritable who's who of fantasy sieves - I put up a fight, but Derek dismantles me.

Gone in 30 Minutes vs The Downs Burn

Perhaps Wayne's strategy of drafting 80 wide receivers at the draft paid off - at least to week five, he's one of the more consistent teams. Still, he's playing with fire - Ryan Fitzpatrick will tank in say about three weeks - where suddenly the interceptions will continue but the production won't. This week will be a good indication of just how stinky the Bills actually are when they face the 49ers at home. Ryan on the other hand has a team on the rise with a solid, but not spectacular group - if only all of his players had brother's die in motorcycle accidents (too soon? probably too soon) they'd really take off. Ryan runs wild over Wayne this week.

Dirty D vs. The Lonesome Kicker

Funny how much one player can change the balance of a team, but with a second solid running back in his group, Dennis becomes incredibly dangerous. While his wide receivers are thinner than Paul Giamatti's hair, Dennis's main starters are a smorgasbord of fantasy fruition. That's not to say Ian's team is bad, but this week they look more like the cock-blocking frumpy friend of a hot girl. They want to be the centre of attention, but they have that one offset eye (Cutler), their ears are too big (Lloyd) and they reek of desperation (Hartline). I think we say hi to a renewed Dennis team.

The North vs. Urban Achievers

With the amount of parity in our league to this point, you can almost make the assumption that all of us are finally fantasy functional. Matchups like this one are the reason why equality in our league makes for some tough calls in the guessing who will win department. Will Manning and his wobbly throws show up against New England, will Chris Johnson put the cheetos down long enough to run three steps and fall to the ground? I can't say. This one could go either way - I'm betting the winner is the one who summons some extra luck this week. Coin flip....Paul wins.

Banana Grabbers vs. Reckoner

How Lindsay gets it done with Vick, Freeman and Kolb - I just don't know. Actually that's not entirely correct, he gets it done with Lynch, McGahee and occasionally Forte when he's not nostrils deep in some hooker's cocaine dusted ass. On the other hand, I entirely know how Brian gets it done - sporadically - because Charles is proving to be a boom or bust player, much like the rest of the Jekyll and Hide that is Kansas City. This week he and Jones-Drew are in bust mode, which I think gives Lindsay the special power of winning.