Fanciful Fantasy Fun Fortunes Week Eight 2013

The North vs. The Chefs
Both Peyton Manning and Larry suffered a loss last week, which comes at no surprise since Larry's fortunes are inextricably linked to Manning's. Just in time for Halloween, the shambling corpse of Derek's team was re-animated. Given that Manning and Wilson are playing horrendous teams this week, it's likely that Larry is going make short work of zombie Derek. Still, it'll be close because Green-Ellis and McGahee scare nobody, and Dalton and Stafford are a potent pair. A photo finish here, but unshockingly Larry wins.

Breesus Christ Superstars vs. The Lonesome Kicker
The brothers Miller face off in a spectacular for the ages - both are sporting the same record and momentum - however, both are also sporting some spotty lineups because of bye weeks. I guess this is a case of who's backups are better - is it Bull Durham from Detroit or ugh Ponder in Minny. Ian has the better support cast in Peterson, Moreno and (tear) Decker, but Bryan clearly has the advantage at quarterback. I'll guess I'll say that Miller wins.

Ngata Chance vs Gone in 30 Minutes
Our league's general ineptitude is on display in this matchup - both Ryan and Lindsay are carrying a slightly sub .500 into this week. But all is not lost since that seems to be a pretty common record in our league right now. So who climbs back into the race and who slides slowly into oblivion? Well despite LeFell failing, Ryan's acquisition of Welker gives his wide receiver corps some needed spice. Meanwhile, we get another week of Fitzgerald under-achieving and watch Vick run for his life against a suddenly motivated giant who are barely out of their division's race. Even Lynch can't clinch it for Lindsay this week - Ryan runs away with it.

Chewbacca DST vs. Dirty D
With some wins under his belt, perhaps Paul has gotten a taste of the victorious lifestyle. Whether it continues kind of rests on Kaepernick's shoulders - and this week - he plays probably the worst team in the NFL and CFL - basically Jacksonville can't win in any FLs. And while Dennis has Rodgers, he's only been quietly dominate this year as Green Bay tries to balance out their offense with some running for a change. Plus my second favorite Lamar is probably a better second RB than Lucky Pierre plucked straight off our free agent tire fire. Paul's team in in-sync, they win.

The Snoodler vs. The Downs Burns
No matter how many free agents I try to pick up, it won't fundamentally improve my team's core issues. It's like this - you can have a Pam Anderson body, but if the head looks like Garfield, then it doesn't matter - well, unless you are this guy. The hope here is that my Sproules trade pays dividends this week (it sure didn't help last week - Deckeeerrrrr). Will it matter though? Wayne already put up 50 with Newton and Manning/McCoy both get less than stellar defenses. I can only hope my team puts up a decent fight on it's way to getting boom piledriven by Wayne's team.